One more thing for Eric's to-do list

I'm sure he can fit this project in: The Bacon Explosion.

Tangible love from Mom!

I was downloading pictures from my camera and found this....In my drug-addled state after surgery, I snapped a shot of an edible arrangement my mom sent. Wayyyyyy good. The fruit really was edible, everything was ripe and top-quality. I had always assumed the "edible" was a technicality.

I had arranged for (and gotten) plenty of food from friends so as to avoid cooking or shopping, dangerous activities while on Percocet (tm). But it hadn't occurred to me a steady diet of lasagna, beef stew, and the like wasn't really well rounded. Fortunately, moms are good at knowing this stuff. I think it goes along with having eyes in the back of their head.

Another sacrifice for the common good

Last year I blogged about this guy, who spent $30 on one month's food. Now a woman has decided to duplicate his experience. From April 10th to May 9th, only a dollar a day, no mooching from co-workers or shoplifting steaks is allowed. She is allowing herself to forage, so her blog has great tips on dandelions as a food source. This could be connected to her resolve wavering after eight days.

Eat more calamari--before it eats us

I've been warning y'all for years, the squid are coming to get us. And they mean business, baby. Humboldt, or Jumbo squid are nasty 100-lb, 7 foot long squid that travel in packs and cannibalize each other. And did I mention they may have a sophisticated method of communication? Hunt cooperatively? Can jump far enough out of the water to be named "Jumbo Flying Squid"? Or that Mexican fishermen call them "Diablos Rojos" ("Red Devils") ?

Until recently they were only seen in a small area of the ocean near the equator. Now, they're clearly following their part of the Squid World Domination Plan. Jumbo squid have taken up residence as far North as Monterey Bay. And that's only the far limit we know for permanent habitation, some have been spotted up around Alaska. Where's a spilling oil tanker when we need one?Marine Biologists seem concerned about attacks on swimming humans or damage to commercial fishing. 100 lb hungry squid like to eat, y'know.

I'm far more worried about the fate of the human species. Several years ago the Discovery Channel ran a special called "The Future is Wild!" They projected evolutionary changes from present-day animals. So, 200 million years from now earth is devoid of the human race. We've left for the stars. Now there is a tree-dwelling species with large brains, the capacity for group cooperation, and extremities capable of manipulation to make tools and fire. They use weapons, such as throwing objects.

Australopithecus?

F*ck NO! It's THE DAMN SQUID INHERITING THE EARTH! The little bastards are going to evolve, build spaceships, and leave earth to come after us! Today, Monterey Bay and Alaskan waters. Tomorrow, Alpha Centauri.


Our only hope in this scenario is that Giant squid will also evolve. They will become land-dwelling creatures filling the current niche of large predators. Think of an elephant with eight legs and two tentacles. And a really, really big beak. And an appetite for smaller, intelligent tree-dwelling squid.

I've been doing my part for years to eat more calamari. Add it to your regular diet. It's the only hope for humanity.

Another Pride for the history books

The annual Southern migration of homosexuals to Piedmont Park is a sight to behold. My friend Jennifer injected a little class into my weekend by suggesting we go to the Krog Bar on Friday night. They have an excellent wine list and tapas. A very nice evening of fun and good food.

Unfortunately the weekend was all downhill from there as I de-evolved into my more natural and primitive Pride state...Drinking whatever alcohol I could get my hands on, sweating, wandering through herds of people, and rolling around in the grass like a heathen.

The tent area had some R-rated action in the afternoon. Our tent had a strategic location just downhill from the breast-painting area so the view was pretty good. As the afternoon wore on the casual partiers packed it up and the R rating got closer and closer to XXX. Only the use of huge floodlights by the organizers and the Atlanta PD kept it from getting too out of hand. Dang.

One disappointment was the lightweight entertainment schedule. There were no big headliners like the B-52's or the Indigo Girls. Not even a Michelle Malone in sight. Instead, the lineup was dominated by the likes of Debbie (excuse me, Deborah) Gibson. Maybe that's why I was so anxious to pay $ 8 for a Hurricane with extra vodka.

The $1 a day food plan

This guy blogged about his experience of spending $1 a day on food for a month. I hope he's young enough to repair the damage to his body.