Jihad Mickey!

Saturday morning children's entertainment...in Palestine.

Death by doorbusters

Well, this was inevitable...A Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death during an after-Thanksgiving sale. I'm not surprised. I usually hit the stores on Black Friday, at times joining the 5am shoppers. Eric and I agree---the whole point of attending this madness isn't the sales, it's the people watching. I find it totally fascinating how people go primeval to obtain a $128 Blu-Ray player. Retailers have tapped some wellspring in the human psyche, combining our innate tendency to horde possessions with the instinct to deprive competitors of resources. This throws shoppers back to the basic existence we all enjoyed 100,000 years ago. The result is Quest for Fire at your local mall.

Another thing I've noticed: in some circles, it's like a weird chick version of the Superbowl. Inter-generational groups of women will discuss strategies for weeks beforehand, collect coupons, and do girl bonding while dashing from store to store. They wait all year for this day. Christmas is a side-item, the real point is the shopping before Christmas.

Allison is walking on sunshine

How to stop political yard sign thieves

If you're an electrician, wire that baby up with a little juice. Although this one only had the voltage of a pet fence, I'm all for using a standard 120 outlet.

Sad thing is, this kid's parents have a litany of excuses, including "He was just trying to see how the sign was put together." Asshats.

Congratulations, it's a....football!

Little incognito panda is growing rapidly, "football" is actually a week or two old in the size-comparison category. He gained 115 grams in one 24 hour period so I guess they'll have to come up with something new every day. Oh, and he's scooting around, crawling can't be far behind. Zoo trip! I wish they could reschedule Lun Lun to give birth around February so I wouldn't have to freeze my &$$ off to see baby pandas.

Tangible love from Mom!

I was downloading pictures from my camera and found this....In my drug-addled state after surgery, I snapped a shot of an edible arrangement my mom sent. Wayyyyyy good. The fruit really was edible, everything was ripe and top-quality. I had always assumed the "edible" was a technicality.

I had arranged for (and gotten) plenty of food from friends so as to avoid cooking or shopping, dangerous activities while on Percocet (tm). But it hadn't occurred to me a steady diet of lasagna, beef stew, and the like wasn't really well rounded. Fortunately, moms are good at knowing this stuff. I think it goes along with having eyes in the back of their head.

Fantastic Contraptions

Okay, I don't even have drugs to blame for wasting time on this, but who cares? It's a very simple concept--you have to get an object in a goal. You have two tools--wheels and connecting rods.


This game cured me of the crazy idea I might take a physics class.

Eternal Sunset

From the Department of Aimless Surfing On Painkillers, here's a pointless feel-good website: Eternal Sunset, a collection of webcams set to rotate according to sundown. No more impatiently waiting for your local sunset, tune in anytime. Plus, it's kind of cool to compare a day's sunset in Ontario and Key West.
Like, wow, man. Far out. Uh, could someone please pass me the Cheetos?

Congratulations, it's a....cellphone!

For those of you too busy to keep track, Lun Lun had her baby August 30th. I was hoping for another twin cub---two of them together would be quite a sight---but given the rarity of Panda births, we're lucky to have even one. The press is now using the phrase "about the size of a cellphone" to describe him. Mei Lan was "about the size of a stick of butter" when she was born. I'm not sure if they're using a different description because this cub is bigger, a cellphone is an object most people handle on a daily basis, or they realized "stick of butter" was a strange analogy.

There was a brief scare a couple of days ago, the cub's body temperature dropped and they put him in an incubator for 19 hours. He's back with his mom now, everything seems fine.

Due to the "incident" Pandakeepers are weighing and checking him periodically. I wonder who has the job of grabbing him away from Lun Lun? Those animals are pretty damn big.

Congratulations, it's a....backbone!

Zoo Atlanta's panda, Lun Lun, is pregnant! Here's her ultrasound, the alien like thing in middle is a spine. And this is very soon (in panda terms) after having Mei Lan....I'm so proud of our little panda hussy!

Let the Games Begin! Pt. II

Here's one of those Olympic athletes who are lesser known, but far more interesting than some of the big names; Melanie Roach, an ex-gymnast who took up weightlifting to rehab from an injury. She qualified for the 2000 Olympics but ripped up her back shortly before going to Athens, and retired from the sport. So she went out and started both a family and a business. After several years she had back surgery so she could try again, and managed to make this year's team at the apparently old-weightlifter age of 33. Melanie is a definite multitasker. Her three kids are all under six years old, and one is autistic. Her Olympic blog talks about a visit to the Great Wall, and with some kids from a special needs orphanage in China.

She's fun to watch because---well, she looks like a gymnast who just happens to be lifting weights. The first big clue of her background is her smile. This picture isn't staged, it's from a competition. She does that every time she lifts, as opposed to other women who make faces more appropriate to hoisting one's body weight above one's head. You can see her fighting hard after a lift not to do the little gymnast pose.

BTW, she didn't win any medals, but she did make all six of her attempted lifts, and set a new American record. She seems quite happy about her Olympic experience.

Santa Clara's drumline does NOT rule

In the world of DCI, the Phantom Regiment does. Literally. They brought their own slaves to the semifinal competition last Thursday, and had them carry the drum major onto the field--when they weren't otherwise abusing them.

All assertions from Cheryl about the superiority of Santa Clara's drumline aside, they placed sixth, along with their overall corps. The DCI theater telecast was great, both in coverage (really good camerawork and sound) and in comfort (A/C, cushy seats.) I had forgotten how entertaining these productions are, with bunches of people who can run--not march, run--around making formations while playing the Waldenstein Sonata in C Major, Movement 1.

Like the Phantom Regiment, who did "Spartacus," most corps' shows had a central theme. My biking nut friend Jamie really enjoyed "Tour de France," with the color guard in full biking attire. Good thing it included helmets, they threw bike wheels at each other.

Other interesting themes--a boxing match, and "The Pursuit of Happiness," (yeah, whatever, people.) One of my favorites was the Cavaliers Samurai theme. They whipped Santa Clara too, check out the Cavalier's Kodo drums in the youtube clip. Hard to compete with that. Poor Santa Clara. Outgunned in the percussion department.

Let the Games Begin! Pt. I

It seems like just yesterday we were making fun of London's orally fixated 2012 Olympic plans, and now it's time for more Olympics---beginning tonight the Chinese host them in Beijing. China I always look forward to the games and am usually more prepared, but they kind of snuck up on me this year. There is a dizzying array of coverage schedules which I can't decode to save my life, so I'm just gonna take it day by day and try to use the VCR for those critical events. One problem is the time difference, most of the events will take place in the middle of the night (our time.) Despite my rabid motivation I'm a bit old to be awake at 3am. And most of the prime time re-broadcasts will be in sports that don't always interest me much, like track and field or basketball. I'd much rather see the little offbeat stuff like archery or badminton.

So, anyone else tuning in? What events are on your must-see list?

Where have all the trees gone?

Into excessive packaging for one stupid pair of earphones. (Note: cat is for comparison purposes only, and was not included in shipping.)

I suppose it's better than this case, where HP used 17 boxes for...a few pages of paper.

My foster cats need dentures and a green card

My sickly cat, Huey (the black one) has had so much trouble with his teeth that the vet recommended just pulling them all out, except his fangs. So I had them yanked out a couple of days ago. He's doing remarkably well, much better than all the humans I know who have had such extensive dental surgery---including me. I guess cats naturally whine less than people. He's resting very comfortably, as you can see.

My other cat Emma (the calico) was undocumented. She finally has some records, so I now don't have to worry that the INS will come take her away. She came with Huey. Both of them arrived under questionable circumstances, which I've sort of pieced together...I think. Their former owner was a kind, but stupid young woman, who had previously adopted them from Lifeline Animal Project. Despite the paperwork which specified she would keep them indoors, Huey ended up with FIV, most likely because he's a male and was bitten in a fight. The girl began asking Lifeline to help her with vet bills, which they did. Eventually she lost her job, moved in with her parents, and was going to keep the cats in an unheated garage over the winter. The shelter manager at Lifeline was apparently fed up, and made her surrender them both. Of course, they needed a schmuck who would foster them, so guess who got the call? I met the girl at the shelter when she brought Emma and Huey in to give them up, so they passed directly to me, which is most likely why Emma had absolutely no paperwork of any kind...vet records, intake forms, nothing. I might as well have picked her up standing out front of a Home Depot.

I did take her in last week for a standard checkup, so now she has her shots and microchip. They also looked at her hip. I thought maybe she had a problem since she limps occasionally. The verdict---she walks funny because she's so fat. I'm always putting out food to encourage Huey to eat and gain weight. Unfortunately Emma never met a can of food she didn't like, so she's pretty darn round. After the green card and the dentures, the next item on my cat list is a kitty treadmill.

So you think I'm a blagger?

Here's a blog of one-entry blogs---if that makes any sense. Most of them are like you'd expect, "so I wuz saiyin 2 my freind, I got the didgits of this hottie from a club, but I losted them cuz my ass-hole brat broher flushed my cell down in the toillett, like, yeh, watevr beeyotch...." stream of consciousness blather.

Occasionally you'll find a blog like billionare.blogspot, launched by a seemingly ambitious (but apparently lazy) Libertarian Objectivist who wants to get rich. I wonder if there's a nicely assembled market here for ADHD drug prescriptions? Maybe that's where billionare.blogspot guy disappeared to.

Top fifteen mobsters who make you say "mmmmm"

15. Danny Arugula

14. fetachini ravioli boyarde

13. patrick the pickle

12. Tony Tater Tots

11. Mr. Ravioli

10. The pancake maker

9. pauly bag of donuts

8. Jimmy the Prawn

7. Tony Carbonara

6. frozen chicken

5. bitch took my cookie

4. dom perig non

3. Al Cappuchino

2. Half pack o certs


......And of course the number one mobster that makes me say mmmmmm....





1.Joey Calamari

Saturday morning flashback

Before the IQ reduction tool of "No Child Left Behind" was created, generation X had its own intellectual minefield to contend with: Saturday morning TV. A bunch of hippie Baby Boomers took over children's programming, with their bongs, roach clips, and windowpanes in tow. H.R. Pufnstuf is a fine example of the result.

On Saturday mornings children could see what happened to little Jimmy and his Magic Flute after they boarded the Magic Ship. In a real bummer of a buzzkill, the evil Wilhelmina W. Witchypoo turns Jimmy onto a bad trip, and he washes up on Living Island. H.R. Pufnstuf, the friendly dragon/Mayor, offers Jimmy refuge from all that crazy sh!# which has suddenly popped into his head. Of course, Living Island is the place where everything is alive and talking---trees, buildings, furniture, bags of extra crunchy 'n hot Cheetoes---they all offer profound insight to little Jimmy. Like, whoa, dude. I think we can all understand what "stuf" was being "pufed" here. So could the smart&$ who posted this alternate version of the intro.

Random information moment

I’ve been tagged for a meme by Cheryl, or possibly Dianne or Laura, I think the whole blog family is tagging each other so it's getting confused. So if you're reading this...you're it.

A meme consists of any unit of cultural information, such as a practice or idea, that gets transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another. Here are the rules:1) Pick up the nearest book. 2) Open to page 123. 3) Find the fifth sentence. 4) Post the next three sentences. 5) Tag five people and acknowledge who tagged you.

Here's mine. Y'all are going to be sorry, since I'm studying for a final. This is from Biology with Physiology: Life On Earth :

Meanwhile, light rays have also been striking the pigment molecules of photosystem I (step 5 in Fig. 7-7, middle of Fig 7-8). Energy from the light photons is captured by these pigment molecules and funneled to the two reaction center chlorophyll molecules, which then eject high-energy electrons (step 6). These electons jump to the electron transport chain associated with photosystem I (step 7).

This is part of the answer to that nagging question---how do plants generate NADPH? I'm sure y'all are on pins and needles wondering what eventually happens to those high-energy electrons. Don't worry, the textbook goes on to explain they end up retiring to a small Mexican fishing village, where they run a hotel and deep-sea charter fishing service.

The End.

Another sacrifice for the common good

Last year I blogged about this guy, who spent $30 on one month's food. Now a woman has decided to duplicate his experience. From April 10th to May 9th, only a dollar a day, no mooching from co-workers or shoplifting steaks is allowed. She is allowing herself to forage, so her blog has great tips on dandelions as a food source. This could be connected to her resolve wavering after eight days.

The edumacashun wars

If you've been to college, you know the dangers of selecting random professors. Everyone seems to have at least one horror story about a course, and dead center can be found----The Evil Professor !!! Since I'm in a local community two year el-cheapo college, the traditional method of asking around has limits, there's less of a rumor mill. So I turn to the problem solver of the 21st century, the internet. Ratemyprofessors.com allows students to post thoughts about their professors anonymously. It's pretty accurate if you keep a couple of rules in mind. First, posts with atrocious grammar/spelling usually reflect the poster's intelligence. A great number of these posts are negative, presumably in revenge for a deservedly poor grade received by the disgruntled student. Second, posts with details such as "tests for material not covered" are much more valuable. If you can wade through all the ranting, you can find valuable information, and an occasional witty comment that will make you laugh. (My all time favorite: "If you take his class, you'll need a pillow. Your pillow will need a pillow.")

As you might expect, most professors have a contrary view of ratemyprofessors.com. So in response, someone launched a blog, Rate Your Students. I think it started off as a place for venting responses to student posts on what professors call The Site That Is Not To Be Named. Now it's expanded to include tales of archetypal professoring moments like busting insanely stupid plagiarism . Since I sit next to some of these students, I don't find such stories particularly shocking. I hate to sound old, but kids nowadays are something else.

Liberals Are Annoying

Do you ever miss the feeling of being young and knowing everything about everything? Prepare yourself, this young lady has devastating rhetoric for those who may disagree with her political ideas.

Maybe after she's finished getting the world on the right track she'll clean up her room.

I'm so frakkin' excited!

Tonight the fourth (and final) season of Battlestar Galactica begins. I've been squirreled away for the past week, since the Sci-Fi channel has been showing a marathon including every single episode. If you haven't seen it, it's a far cry from the late '70's version, which was basically a ripoff of Star Wars. The original did introduce some fairly interesting ideas for its time, the producer was a Mormon who introduced rather twisted elements of Mormon theology into his product. But let's face it, TV in the 70's was crap, so the original series had its limits.

In the brave new world of the 21st century this Battlestar Galactica (BSG) is a very different animal. Some of the weird Mormon elements have been retained, like a lost tribe of people who long ago separated themselves and left for an unknown place. The basic story is the same...a race of robot-creatures destroy most of humanity, the small group of human survivors flee in spaceships and begin their search for the lost tribe, which has settled on the mythological place called "Earth. " Other elements of the original series are present, the Commander of the Battlestar Galactica is named Adama, his son is a pilot named Apollo, other pilots are named Athena, Starbuck, etc. Before the Cylon destruction they lived on worlds named after their tribes, loose interpretations of our astrological symbols, i.e. Caprica, (Capricorn) Picon, (Pisces) etc.

That's where the comparison ends, as the modern series goes in a whole new direction. The religious element has been expanded, creating two new detailed--and conflicting--religions. The theology of the Cylons is monotheistic, and the humans worship a pantheon of gods. The Cylons are no longer just shiny robots, they've evolved to look exactly like us. This means there are Cylon infiltrators among the humans, some of which are "sleepers" and unaware of their true nature until their real memories are awakened. Humans and Cylons crossbreed. Life is pretty crazy in the BSG space fleet.

Like most great science fiction, BSG uses all these elements to ask hard questions and provide a social commentary. They speculate about what it means to be human, since the evolved Cylons are so similar, some defect to the humans. Of course, some humans then defect to the Cylons. Religion drives conflict, with the Cylons claiming to follow the one true God as they try to wipe out humanity. Humans then pray to the Lords of Kobol before flying into combat to destroy Cylons. Amen.

In contrast to the original series, the humans aren't all good guys, and humanity itself is possibly unworthy to survive. Starbuck, as you can guess by her picture here, is a hard-drinking chick. She occasionally punches her Commanding Officer and is responsible for killing other pilots through dereliction of duty. She isn't the only drinker, the second-in-command is an alcoholic. Humans sleep around, married or not. (sometimes with Cylons, who use sex to lure humans into betrayals. The female cylon models are totally hot. ) They all curse liberally , the word "frack" is equivalent to...well, you can guess. President Laura Roslin orders so many summary executions by tossing people into space, her nickname is "airlock". If she's in a good mood, maybe she'll authorize a kangaroo court, then shove the defendant out the airlock. The Vice President is an ex-terrorist. There is a flourishing black market among the fleet, child prostitution, treason, rigged elections, and other ills of humanity. To top it off the military occasionally shoots rioting civilians. What fun! The music is a great addition and reflects the series. There are lots of percussive sections, interspersed with haunting melodies, and vocals sung in Sanskrit. The entire tone of the series is dark, both thematically and visually. The eight-minute overview, however, is maniacally frakkin' funny.

So, tonight, after more than a year, I hope I'll see 1) why four "human" characters began hearing Jimi Hendrix's "All Along the Watchtower" in their heads just before their hidden Cylon memories were triggered. 2) What happens during the reunion between Starbuck (recently back from the dead) and her husband (recently realized he's a Cylon). Those two kids have a lot to talk about. 3) What will happen to the main human traitor, who is constantly advised by an imaginary Cylon only he can see and hear. 4) What other ancient religious scriptures the President will fulfill, since she's been having religious visions--again.

To make sure nothing interrupted my little three-day obsession, I stockpiled supplies---frozen foods, diet Cherry-Vanilla Dr. Pepper, and pretzels. Food for the cats. And I have plenty of time to make lengthy blog posts while keeping one eye on the TV. Life is good, in an unhealthy sci-fi geek way. It could be worse, I suppose, I could be hooked on World of Warcraft... some of those people never see daylight again.

The World's Smallest Political Quiz

If you haven't done so before, try it out.... even the ultimate McPaper, USA Today, calls it "quick and relatively painless." Unless you really cling to your political identity.

I'd rather be in California

Especially after the tornado last night, and more storms rolling in today. Now Laura taunts me by sending pictures.


The cat and the dog seem to be working together, but that rat looks like he's ready to bail. Maybe posing isn't in his contact.

Apple iRack

This is a year old, so if you've seen it, go back to work. :)

And if you saw it here several times, go back to work. Apparently youtube just cleared its throat, I tried posting this video multiple times this weekend. Well, it finally worked---several days later. I wonder where all those posts were? Purgatory?

Barack performs bodily function, crowd goes wild

A sad week in Geekdom

Gary Gygax,the co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons, died Tuesday. He failed to roll a save vs. abdominal aneurysm at the age of 69. Anyone who has held their breath watching 2d20 bounce across a tabletop knows what a loss we've suffered.



In other bad news, Bill Gates is no longer the world's richest guy. He was bumped by Warren Buffett, and some guy named Carlos Slim Helu. Now, Buffett doesn't surprise me, but who the hell is this Helu guy? The news reports say he's a Mexican telecommunications magnate. It kind of burns me up that Mexico has millions of desperately poor people, many of them come here just to try and feed their families, and this dude is quietly raking in the dough. I guess it's not just a sad week in Geekdom, it's a sad week in the world of human rights. The upside is that Bill Gates has slipped in the wealth rankings because he's giving so much of it away. The Gates Foundation announced this week they were handing out thousands of grants for innovative solutions in health. Having already spent 26 billion on charitable causes, I think it's safe to say Bill and Melinda are racking up major karma points. Probably worth a move from #1 to #3 in available stacks of cash.

Grown-up polar bears being cute

Or at least not being vicious killers.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

Please cover your ears for our national anthem. Any time a singer has to promise "I'll make it up to you", you know you're in for a bad ride.











If you want patriotism, stick with Cheryl's blog. I only publish the a**hole stuff.

Okay, okay, I'll post!

But no heavy thinking or insight. I'm taking the lazy way out and going for the cheap laugh.