Sheeple

Down to earth, and not in a good way

2009-02-24T11:16:00.009-04:00

A leftover from January's Armageddon week on the History Channel; an asteroid impact simulator. You can specify the density of a projectile, speed, angle of entry, and other variables, and it'll show you what happens if it hits the earth. There's a display page with geek info like kinetic energy, burst altitude, and fireball radius, which can be quite impressive if you're talking 1000 meter wide iron chunks. For the non-geek, there are visual displays, you can drop the Empire State building in the crater to see the depth. It's an interesting exercise in applied physics to alter the specs and see what happens.

The best feature is a google map display where you can pinpoint the point of impact and see the resulting crater. I personally like to target Paris. I never did like the French.

The State Legislature is in sexi...er, session

2009-02-13T10:29:00.005-04:00

Our illustrious leaders are gathered under the gold dome to serve the citizens of Georgia. Let the circus begin! Many times these legislators have been so bunged up over a stupid or obscure issue, they can't wait to get to Atlanta and shoot their mouths off. This session it's going to be hard to top Rep. Calvin Hill (R-Canton.)

On February 2nd, this story appeared in the AJC---Rep. Hill had somehow gotten his hands on a Georgia State University guide, which listed professors as experts in such areas as oral sex (gasp!) and male prostitution (double gasp!) He was outraged tax dollars pay for college courses in these topics, and issued a fatwa to rally the faithful. Being informed Georgia State offers no such courses didn't assuage his righteous indignation. No reason to let facts get in the way, right?

A few days later, a follow up story showed Camp Bizarro gaining followers. Enthusiastically joining the witch hunt were Rep. Charlice Byrd (R-Woodstock) and Georgia Christian Coalition President Jim Beck, who called for legislative hearings on the ungodly mix of heathen eggheads, taxes, and wee-wees. This all might be funny--until you realize Rep. Hill is Vice Chair of the House Appropriations Committee. Georgia State faculty offered numerous rejoinders to the accusations, without much result since obsessive-compulsive combing of all college courses in the entire State revealed some with "queer"(triple gasp!) in the title. I will never understand how these offended people can endure hours, days, and weeks searching for something that will offend them. I'd rather spend time looking for things I enjoy, and don't send me into a maddened frenzy. Maybe it's just me.

Finally someone at Georgia State stopped laughing long enough to send two of the listed experts to testify before the House. The "male prostitution expert," Professor Kirk Elifson, said his research is aimed at cutting the rate of sexually transmitted diseases. Georgia has a high rate of STD's so this seems sensible. However Mr. Elifson understood he was dealing with politicians, making sense wins no points in the legislature. So he stated he had become an expert while serving in the Army in Viet Nam. Checkmate move, Professor! I've found playing the Veteran's card on rabid family-values flag-waving Republicans shuts them up. (Temporarily anyway.) Despite their hawkishness few have actually been in uniform, or even watched Saving Private Ryan. Those who have served go into immediate feedback loop/meltdown, where they try to process how another Vet could be such a commie pinko longhair. And poor Rep. Hill must have been really bummed when the "oral sex expert" implied her work could be useful to prevent teens from having oral sex. How the hell can a God-fearing uptight Republican oppose less sex? Game over, man.

Having lost the high ground, Rep. Hill backtracked. He declined to ask the GSU expert heathens any questions, and later blamed the media for "blowing the subject [giggle!] out of proportion." Continuing his unintentional Freudian leakage, he told the AJC “It’s been taken sideways by people who like the titillating words.” This man is a walking, talking invitation for me to create another drinking game. And again, maybe it's just me, but I like to keep my titillating words in places for uh, titillation. Like the bedroom. Oh, maybe the kitchen table occasionally, perhaps airport restrooms if I'm really drunk and lucky. But a subcommittee of the Georgia State Legislature? Dear God, if you're using titillating words there, you are an irredeemable pervert.

Rep. Byrd, on the other hand, hasn't given up the good fight against blowjo---uh, ungodly smut. Her website currently has a vaguely ominous fatwa (warning: EXTREMELY annoying video.) It's a merger of paranoia and bad English, such as "...there is a professor at UGA that has confirmed and verified courses in 'Queer Theory' among other things are being [sic] taught. " If this woman wasn't immersed in Theory of Porno 2101 during her college years, what was she doing? Her alma mater (SE Louisiana) may be morally superior to UGA, but at least University of Sodom and Georgia students learn English when they aren't sexing it up in the classroom. BTW, Rep. Byrd shares her colleague's unfortunate Freudian leakage. Even as a longtime resident of Decatur, I've seen few hairstyles screaming "dyke" as loudly as the one in her video. I bet she lives for fish taco night at La Parrilla, and has no idea why.

Snow Mountain

2009-02-07T13:16:00.003-04:00

I have my ticket. 44 inches of snow at the base of Stone Mountain should be a real experience.

A poignant little story on what those snow machines were doing Christmas eve...

One more thing for Eric's to-do list

2009-02-02T21:39:00.003-04:00

I'm sure he can fit this project in: The Bacon Explosion.

What happens when hackers get hold of road signs

2009-01-30T09:12:00.003-04:00

Ah, screw Pictionary

2009-01-14T14:13:00.007-04:00

War on Terror, the board game is more relevant. All players start as empires, doing the boring work of all empires, expansion and resource grabbing. Eventually someone will go terrorist. Maybe the Finger of Suspicion on the Axis of Evil spinner lands on them, or having a couple of nukes lying around is just too tempting. Before you know it, you're sending out suicide bombers and the world has gone to hell. Included are 15 radiation counters, 2 oil dice, 47 terrorist cards, and lots 'o money in bank notes from the World Bank of Capitalism. If you play as a terrorist, you can don a fashionable balaclava with "EVIL" emblazoned across the forehead in large red letters.

The object is to domina...ahem, liberate the world. The game has upset some folks with its realism, which is not contained to donning balaclavas to imitate stereotypical terrorists. I can't say why, I've never played it (and at $50 I'm not inclined to.) Apparently it's highly satirical and way too accurate, with empires funding terrorists who then turn on them, or empires randomly declared terrorist by the Axis of Evil spinner. Or Empires saying "f*ck it" and going terrorist, then realizing they aren't doing anything differently except wearing a silly balaclava.

When Police raided a protest camp in the U.K. and seized a "weapons cache", the official photo included...you guessed it...War on Terror, the board game. Art imitates life.

BFF

2009-01-09T09:45:00.001-04:00

Happy New Year! And kiss your @&$ goodbye!

2009-01-04T12:13:00.003-04:00

I'm caught up in the blog family spirit after reading the recent round of posts. So in that spirit, I will 1) quit blagging, and 2) resume my role as resident pessimist.

Most of y'all are science nuts, so you may have heard about the recent earthquakes in Yellowstone. If you haven't, well, it's probably better. All those neat geysers and hot springs are geothermal, of course. And geothermal means heat. And heat means magma. And magma, when it blows out in a big way, means calderas. Yellowstone caldera was formed from a volcanic eruption and is roughly 34 x 45 miles. That's a heap 'o magma. When you see that much, you're going to have a very bad day. Don't trust me on this, trust the Discovery Channel:

the Yellowstone eruption of 2.1 million years ago, which is described on the VEI as an eight: mega-colossal, with a towering ash cloud 10 miles high that pours out at least a thousand cubic miles of ash. That Yellowstone eruption had 10 times the ejected material as a VEI 7 volcano, which modern humans have never seen either.
In fact, the last VEI 7 eruption was in Toba, Indonesia, 74,000 years ago, and it caused such global cooling that some scientists think it nearly drove humans to extinction.

On the other hand, it might just be some water moving around, or a little seismic hiccup, and some other poor schmucks will have to endure global extinction. Happy news for us! I can take a drink, and we can go on with planning game night.

The good 'ol days

2007-05-31T14:11:00.002-04:00

I think I went overboard on the first part of point # 3. This is why I'm not married anymore.

Water quality in the 'Hooch is down

2007-06-13T07:21:00.000-04:00

Now if the e.coli doesn't get you, the gator will.

Wonder if he swam up here looking for a Bulldog snack?

Further adventures in hell---the wonderful world of Jack Chick

2007-06-22T13:42:00.000-04:00

Feel like winning some souls for Jesus? Here's a great tool, Chick Tracts! Jack Chick was an unsuccessful comic book artist until he had a big conversion experience. He decided to serve the Lord by cranking out lovely little tracts to save the heathens of the world. As you can see, he spares no punches in his effort to scare unsaved into stampeding for the Big Net of Jesus.

Wandering through his website is like visiting a conspiracy theory convention. Mohammad was inspired to create Islam through some kind of machinations of the Catholic Church. The Catholics are headed by the Antichrist, who is plainly the Pope. Schools are full of ungodly types who invite homosexuals (with little devils on their shoulders) to recruit children, or force that crazy Theory of Evolution down their throats. And woe be unto little Suzy, who must resist her teacher's manipulations to push children to wear Halloween costumes. Because everyone knows that leads to hell. Demonically influenced record company executives, bosses, abortion counselors, condom distributers,(whatever those are) Satan is behind it all.

Many of Chicks's tracts have a recurring plot. Demons (small, dark, ethnic appearing apparitions) try to keep the righteous friend/grandma/other saved person from witnessing to the unsaved friend/granddaughter/other Godless person. They flatten tires or delay the witnesser. Angels ( big white men) counter with their own moves, like sending a helpful Samaritan to change the tire. Most of the time the unsaved get right with Jesus, and they live happily ever after. But occasionally, the errant sinner decides otherwise, and dies within 24 hours. After all, the big decision is made, why bother filling a few pages with the rest of their earthly life? Next stop: Hell! I love happy endings!

In ChickThink, the Devil has lots of time on his hands to greet his new residents personally, explaining that if they'd done things the Chick Way, they'd be hanging with the big man upstairs and the friend/grandma/other saved person. And Jack Chick, who undoubtedly pictures himself up there saying smugly "I told you so".

Chick parody

2007-06-29T16:23:00.000-04:00

It was only a matter of time before smartasses like me found Jack Chick and started making fun of him. After all, who could miss as big of a target as a crazy fundy conspiricy theorist/bad cartoonist? The Jack T. Chick Parody Archives
Has thoughtfully collected some of the best parodies to be found. "The Holy and the Homo" is my favorite. "Dead to Rights" (pictured) does earn best runner up; Depicting Jack Chick meeting his maker and trying to explain why he wrote all those crazy tracts...Priceless.

The site also details the nastygrams recived from Chick's lawyers. Apparently when under attack from the Forces of Darkness Driven Parody Website, Jack T. Chick doesn't turn to prayer, he turns to his lawyers. Now who's trafficking with the Devil in this picture? It's hard to answer the question of WWJS---Who Would Jesus Sue?

The annual running of the imbeciles

2007-07-09T18:18:00.000-04:00

Next time you lose your car keys or exit an elevator on the wrong floor, console yourself---you're not dumb. This is dumb.

Score for the bulls this year: 2 gorings, 7 crushes. And one photographer scored the picture of a lifetime.

I used to think the people of Pamplona were an isolated group of crazies before I met a guy from Spain in one of my classes. He lived in a small town (I don't remember the name) where they had the same ritual of trying to get themselves trampled or stuck while running the local streets. To prove it, he had a scar on his upper arm from a goring. He was incredibly modest about his idiocy, saying that their bulls were just "little ones". From the look of his scar they were damned well big enough to skewer his bicep.

Religion identity confusion

2007-07-19T08:46:00.000-04:00

Only in America: if we choose, we can trash the faith we're born into, and make up our own. It worked out well for Shirley MacLaine! Our multicultural diversity makes finding your own faith too much work, which is why so many Americans have vague spiritual beliefs and support "religious" leaders like Creflo Dollar--whose website has admittedly impressive financial options and advice. So to narrow down one's system of thought and faith, Beliefnet brings us Belief-O-Matic. With only 20 questions you can decide who (or what) you should be worshiping, or if you should just be partying like it's 1999.

I range from 100% Unitarian Universalist (probably because you can believe anything and you're a Unitarian) and high percentages in Liberal Quaker (ism?) or Buddhism. On the other hand, I only have a 9 % chance of being a Jehovah's Witness (probably because they have really rigid beliefs.) Thank God. Or whoever.

Ciao, MV7

2007-07-24T09:00:00.000-04:00

Despite the testosterone charged atmosphere in the NFL, looks like the Commissioner is the only guy who's got a pair. He's suspended Michael Vick.

Blogs and news shows have been repeating a talking point over and over: innocent until proven guilty. Many people are pressing to not impose any consequences until the outcome of his presumed trial in Federal court. Bad idea.

"Innocent until proven guilty" refers to how we decide to deprive citizens of their physical freedom. Incarcerating someone is the most severe punishment (aside from execution) that can be imposed by our government. So the only place of a jury's judgement is in that context. What if we applied the phrase to other aspects of life? Have you ever been fired or let go from a job based on charges that would result in a criminal conviction? Do you think that was wrong to be fired without a jury trial? What if you were a boss and had to make personnel moves for only those reasons? Don't you keep your children away from a creepy next-door neighbor based on your impressions, rather than solid evidence meeting the test of admissibility? Evaluation of one's actions in a legal light is just that---judgement on a legal basis. It should never be considered in factors aside from locking someone up.

In solely practical terms, the distraction of these charges is enormous. Can you imagine road games? Opposing fans, cities, morning deejays, PETA, etc. will be merciless. There are a bunch of other guys around him trying to play football and earn endorsements. They don't deserve this kind of distraction any more than you deserve working with a deadbeat who generates bill-collection calls to your workplace. Vick's actions affect everyone in the organization.

This isn't a small matter, it carries a much longer jail term than say, a DUI. A DUI can be the result of a momentary bad decision in an otherwise (relatively) stable person. These charges are from a long-term offense, like money laundering, where lots of people and intent over an extended period of time is required. And with a conviction rate of 95% or so on Federal charges, it's very likely he will be convicted or serve time.

At the very least, he's shown extreme negligence. He bought a house and property, knew there were people there who were convicted criminals, and (he says) never set foot on the property or checked on it for five years. Because of his alleged oversight, his money was used to establish and run an illegal and thoroughly disgusting venture. It wouldn't have happened had he not used NFL money. Why give him any more?

Michael Vick isn't being paid to throw a football, he's being paid to throw a football while being televised and watched by millions. His job isn't just to accomplish a mechanical end, it includes representing the team and the city. The NFL is a legal monopoly for that reason. Ultimately football is like moviemaking. If you're a great actor/actress/director that's great, but you don't get paid unless you can sell your product. Brad Pitt gets paid huge advances for signing a contract based on the fact that people will go because he's in the movie. His appearances on Entertainment Tonight and in other media are part of what drives his appeal. Michael Vick is no different. Image, conduct, and other "soft" factors come into play, and they should be considered in light of his job performance.

It's scary to have a bunch of millionaires running around who are being taught they don't have to follow any rules. The NFL Commissioner is making it clear that if you're a player, you can't be assured of keeping your job as long as you make the minumum requirement---staying out of jail.

Eat more calamari--before it eats us

2007-07-26T11:36:00.000-04:00

I've been warning y'all for years, the squid are coming to get us. And they mean business, baby. Humboldt, or Jumbo squid are nasty 100-lb, 7 foot long squid that travel in packs and cannibalize each other. And did I mention they may have a sophisticated method of communication? Hunt cooperatively? Can jump far enough out of the water to be named "Jumbo Flying Squid"? Or that Mexican fishermen call them "Diablos Rojos" ("Red Devils") ?

Until recently they were only seen in a small area of the ocean near the equator. Now, they're clearly following their part of the Squid World Domination Plan. Jumbo squid have taken up residence as far North as Monterey Bay. And that's only the far limit we know for permanent habitation, some have been spotted up around Alaska. Where's a spilling oil tanker when we need one?Marine Biologists seem concerned about attacks on swimming humans or damage to commercial fishing. 100 lb hungry squid like to eat, y'know.

I'm far more worried about the fate of the human species. Several years ago the Discovery Channel ran a special called "The Future is Wild!" They projected evolutionary changes from present-day animals. So, 200 million years from now earth is devoid of the human race. We've left for the stars. Now there is a tree-dwelling species with large brains, the capacity for group cooperation, and extremities capable of manipulation to make tools and fire. They use weapons, such as throwing objects.

Australopithecus?

F*ck NO! It's THE DAMN SQUID INHERITING THE EARTH! The little bastards are going to evolve, build spaceships, and leave earth to come after us! Today, Monterey Bay and Alaskan waters. Tomorrow, Alpha Centauri.

Our only hope in this scenario is that Giant squid will also evolve. They will become land-dwelling creatures filling the current niche of large predators. Think of an elephant with eight legs and two tentacles. And a really, really big beak. And an appetite for smaller, intelligent tree-dwelling squid.

I've been doing my part for years to eat more calamari. Add it to your regular diet. It's the only hope for humanity.

Chat with God

2007-08-07T14:33:00.001-04:00

Church is so 20th Century. Why bother? To speak with the Eternal Creator, all you have to do is log on to iGod. (Motto: "Repenting made easy"). Salvation is pretty easy too---I asked God what would make him happy, He said maybe a million dollars. Yeah, a lot of cash, but He takes Visa, Mastercard, personal check, Discover card, pesos, jewelry, pretty much any form of payment. So all I have to do is write a check. I'll add that to my Gubb list of things to do this week, and I can cross out "ensure eternal peace".

The afterlife seems rather boring, though, God referred me to another link when I asked Him for a joke. This is never a good sign.

Still runnin'

2007-08-28T09:26:00.000-04:00

Not that anyone's been reading my blog this long, but remember these people?

Yep, they're still running. Humans, and the things we do, continue to amaze me. Some of us can run around the planet, others can't make it down a runway in high heels.

Okay, okay, I'll post!

2008-02-20T11:38:00.004-04:00

But no heavy thinking or insight. I'm taking the lazy way out and going for the cheap laugh.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

2008-03-01T13:21:00.004-04:00

Please cover your ears for our national anthem. Any time a singer has to promise "I'll make it up to you", you know you're in for a bad ride.

If you want patriotism, stick with Cheryl's blog. I only publish the a**hole stuff.

A sad week in Geekdom

2008-03-06T14:27:00.005-04:00

Gary Gygax,the co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons, died Tuesday. He failed to roll a save vs. abdominal aneurysm at the age of 69. Anyone who has held their breath watching 2d20 bounce across a tabletop knows what a loss we've suffered.

In other bad news, Bill Gates is no longer the world's richest guy. He was bumped by Warren Buffett, and some guy named Carlos Slim Helu. Now, Buffett doesn't surprise me, but who the hell is this Helu guy? The news reports say he's a Mexican telecommunications magnate. It kind of burns me up that Mexico has millions of desperately poor people, many of them come here just to try and feed their families, and this dude is quietly raking in the dough. I guess it's not just a sad week in Geekdom, it's a sad week in the world of human rights. The upside is that Bill Gates has slipped in the wealth rankings because he's giving so much of it away. The Gates Foundation announced this week they were handing out thousands of grants for innovative solutions in health. Having already spent 26 billion on charitable causes, I think it's safe to say Bill and Melinda are racking up major karma points. Probably worth a move from #1 to #3 in available stacks of cash.

I'd rather be in California

2008-03-15T09:26:00.004-04:00

Especially after the tornado last night, and more storms rolling in today. Now Laura taunts me by sending pictures.

The cat and the dog seem to be working together, but that rat looks like he's ready to bail. Maybe posing isn't in his contact.

I'm so frakkin' excited!

2008-04-04T06:37:00.004-04:00

Tonight the fourth (and final) season of Battlestar Galactica begins. I've been squirreled away for the past week, since the Sci-Fi channel has been showing a marathon including every single episode. If you haven't seen it, it's a far cry from the late '70's version, which was basically a ripoff of Star Wars. The original did introduce some fairly interesting ideas for its time, the producer was a Mormon who introduced rather twisted elements of Mormon theology into his product. But let's face it, TV in the 70's was crap, so the original series had its limits.

In the brave new world of the 21st century this Battlestar Galactica (BSG) is a very different animal. Some of the weird Mormon elements have been retained, like a lost tribe of people who long ago separated themselves and left for an unknown place. The basic story is the same...a race of robot-creatures destroy most of humanity, the small group of human survivors flee in spaceships and begin their search for the lost tribe, which has settled on the mythological place called "Earth. " Other elements of the original series are present, the Commander of the Battlestar Galactica is named Adama, his son is a pilot named Apollo, other pilots are named Athena, Starbuck, etc. Before the Cylon destruction they lived on worlds named after their tribes, loose interpretations of our astrological symbols, i.e. Caprica, (Capricorn) Picon, (Pisces) etc.

That's where the comparison ends, as the modern series goes in a whole new direction. The religious element has been expanded, creating two new detailed--and conflicting--religions. The theology of the Cylons is monotheistic, and the humans worship a pantheon of gods. The Cylons are no longer just shiny robots, they've evolved to look exactly like us. This means there are Cylon infiltrators among the humans, some of which are "sleepers" and unaware of their true nature until their real memories are awakened. Humans and Cylons crossbreed. Life is pretty crazy in the BSG space fleet.

Like most great science fiction, BSG uses all these elements to ask hard questions and provide a social commentary. They speculate about what it means to be human, since the evolved Cylons are so similar, some defect to the humans. Of course, some humans then defect to the Cylons. Religion drives conflict, with the Cylons claiming to follow the one true God as they try to wipe out humanity. Humans then pray to the Lords of Kobol before flying into combat to destroy Cylons. Amen.

In contrast to the original series, the humans aren't all good guys, and humanity itself is possibly unworthy to survive. Starbuck, as you can guess by her picture here, is a hard-drinking chick. She occasionally punches her Commanding Officer and is responsible for killing other pilots through dereliction of duty. She isn't the only drinker, the second-in-command is an alcoholic. Humans sleep around, married or not. (sometimes with Cylons, who use sex to lure humans into betrayals. The female cylon models are totally hot. ) They all curse liberally , the word "frack" is equivalent to...well, you can guess. President Laura Roslin orders so many summary executions by tossing people into space, her nickname is "airlock". If she's in a good mood, maybe she'll authorize a kangaroo court, then shove the defendant out the airlock. The Vice President is an ex-terrorist. There is a flourishing black market among the fleet, child prostitution, treason, rigged elections, and other ills of humanity. To top it off the military occasionally shoots rioting civilians. What fun! The music is a great addition and reflects the series. There are lots of percussive sections, interspersed with haunting melodies, and vocals sung in Sanskrit. The entire tone of the series is dark, both thematically and visually. The eight-minute overview, however, is maniacally frakkin' funny.

So, tonight, after more than a year, I hope I'll see 1) why four "human" characters began hearing Jimi Hendrix's "All Along the Watchtower" in their heads just before their hidden Cylon memories were triggered. 2) What happens during the reunion between Starbuck (recently back from the dead) and her husband (recently realized he's a Cylon). Those two kids have a lot to talk about. 3) What will happen to the main human traitor, who is constantly advised by an imaginary Cylon only he can see and hear. 4) What other ancient religious scriptures the President will fulfill, since she's been having religious visions--again.

To make sure nothing interrupted my little three-day obsession, I stockpiled supplies---frozen foods, diet Cherry-Vanilla Dr. Pepper, and pretzels. Food for the cats. And I have plenty of time to make lengthy blog posts while keeping one eye on the TV. Life is good, in an unhealthy sci-fi geek way. It could be worse, I suppose, I could be hooked on World of Warcraft... some of those people never see daylight again.

Random information moment

2008-05-05T13:17:00.004-04:00

I’ve been tagged for a meme by Cheryl, or possibly Dianne or Laura, I think the whole blog family is tagging each other so it's getting confused. So if you're reading this...you're it.

A meme consists of any unit of cultural information, such as a practice or idea, that gets transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another. Here are the rules:1) Pick up the nearest book. 2) Open to page 123. 3) Find the fifth sentence. 4) Post the next three sentences. 5) Tag five people and acknowledge who tagged you.

Here's mine. Y'all are going to be sorry, since I'm studying for a final. This is from Biology with Physiology: Life On Earth :

Meanwhile, light rays have also been striking the pigment molecules of photosystem I (step 5 in Fig. 7-7, middle of Fig 7-8). Energy from the light photons is captured by these pigment molecules and funneled to the two reaction center chlorophyll molecules, which then eject high-energy electrons (step 6). These electons jump to the electron transport chain associated with photosystem I (step 7).

This is part of the answer to that nagging question---how do plants generate NADPH? I'm sure y'all are on pins and needles wondering what eventually happens to those high-energy electrons. Don't worry, the textbook goes on to explain they end up retiring to a small Mexican fishing village, where they run a hotel and deep-sea charter fishing service.

The End.

My foster cats need dentures and a green card

2008-07-18T13:31:00.006-04:00

My sickly cat, Huey (the black one) has had so much trouble with his teeth that the vet recommended just pulling them all out, except his fangs. So I had them yanked out a couple of days ago. He's doing remarkably well, much better than all the humans I know who have had such extensive dental surgery---including me. I guess cats naturally whine less than people. He's resting very comfortably, as you can see.

My other cat Emma (the calico) was undocumented. She finally has some records, so I now don't have to worry that the INS will come take her away. She came with Huey. Both of them arrived under questionable circumstances, which I've sort of pieced together...I think. Their former owner was a kind, but stupid young woman, who had previously adopted them from Lifeline Animal Project. Despite the paperwork which specified she would keep them indoors, Huey ended up with FIV, most likely because he's a male and was bitten in a fight. The girl began asking Lifeline to help her with vet bills, which they did. Eventually she lost her job, moved in with her parents, and was going to keep the cats in an unheated garage over the winter. The shelter manager at Lifeline was apparently fed up, and made her surrender them both. Of course, they needed a schmuck who would foster them, so guess who got the call? I met the girl at the shelter when she brought Emma and Huey in to give them up, so they passed directly to me, which is most likely why Emma had absolutely no paperwork of any kind...vet records, intake forms, nothing. I might as well have picked her up standing out front of a Home Depot.

I did take her in last week for a standard checkup, so now she has her shots and microchip. They also looked at her hip. I thought maybe she had a problem since she limps occasionally. The verdict---she walks funny because she's so fat. I'm always putting out food to encourage Huey to eat and gain weight. Unfortunately Emma never met a can of food she didn't like, so she's pretty darn round. After the green card and the dentures, the next item on my cat list is a kitty treadmill.